The Waitress in the Pub.

My wife and I went to a pub restaurant the other week. Being a Thai / western couple the waitress came over to us whilst we were playing pool and said, “do you mind if I ask you something?” “Sure” we replied. “Are you from Thailand?” My wife answered yes and the waitress was excited because she travels to Thailand quite regularly. She asked the usual questions and we ordered our meal and drinks as is the custom in these places.

Later in the afternoon I talked to this waitress again and we mentioned Buddhism. I said I was into Buddhism and she said it’s such an interesting religion. I agreed and she said she would like to be a Buddhist. I said, “if you want to be a Buddhist then decide right now; in this very moment. You don’t have to fill out any forms. Just decide that’s what you now are.”

This struck me as strange since it was as if she felt there was some kind of glass ceiling preventing her becoming a student of the Buddha. There isn’t. It was a really weird moment where I could think of anything else to say. I didn’t do anything myself except read books and websites about Buddhism and decide that’s what I accept to be the best philosophy in life. Don’t wish you were a Buddhist but do nothing about it. That’s absurd.

A good place to begin and the first book I read was Steve Hagen’s excellent “Buddhism Plain & Simple.” One of the top five best selling books on the subject in the United States.

Attachment

Since I left my last musing on the theme of attachment, I stumbled across this website and a beautifully written piece that totally 100% describes what I mean by attachment and the suffering therein.

Enjoy.

What is Attachment?

To discuss attachment, one has to define it first. Attachment can be seen as an exaggerated seeking and clinging. We devote large amounts of mental and physical energy to the object of our desires. If we don’t have it, we obsess about it, try to get it, or constantly mourn its absence. And if we have it, we fear we will lose it and desperately try to hold on to it. Our minds will never find rest, as long as this grasping exists. 

At the root of attachment is wrong perception. Whether it is an object or a person, we give it meanings and values that do not exist. Let’s discuss romance as an example – it is one of the most common in our society. 

Imagine a man who has spent his entire life without a lover. The world will tell him it is not right, that there must be something wrong with him. Maybe he is too ugly, maybe he is too shy. Doesn’t he get lonely? Isn’t life too painful to travel alone? Doesn’t he need a shoulder to cry on?

If he agrees with them, he begins to feel lonely and sad, and his efforts are directed towards trying to find a wife. And what if he finds one? The poor woman – he begins to burden her with all his years of unfulfilled needs and desires. No longer can she simply be who she is; her humanity has been denied. If she fulfils his needs, he might try to control her or hold on to her for fear of losing her. If she doesn’t, his unhappiness returns – but this time she is blamed for it. If she leaves, he plunges back into his despair, and again she will be blamed for it. 

But she is not at fault – the despair and insecurities have always been there. His pain comes from his internal attachments, not her.


Take a look at the site I discovered the article here:

http://www.urbanmonk.net/783/non-attachment-detachment-aversion/

I hope you gained some real life wisdom from this.  Something that is genuine, useful and proven to be 100% fact.  That is the truth of Buddhism.

Rich or Wasteful?

Sometimes I see people who seem to be very affluent splashing the cash around and I wonder: are they rich or wasteful?

Take this example:

Someone was telling me about how they have an iPad, an iPhone 4S and soon they are getting the iPhone 5 on pre-order. Now my initial reaction was, “wow, I feel happy for you. You must be doing well.” Afterwards I felt different. I thought anyone could buy all these things; it’s not difficult. Any fool with a credit card. Now does this person really need an iPad and the latest iPhone? I don’t think so. If this is a ploy to make people believe they are rich then it may work on some but not everyone is that gullible. If I ran up hundreds of pounds of debt buying all these gadgets and blowing money on cars and motorbikes people would no doubt be impressed but really the joke is on me. It’s all got to be paid back one day. There are people who have three or four cars. A car is a mode of transport so the question is this: Is the vehicle used more important than where you are travelling to? Some may say that if you are rich it does not matter how many cars you have. Correct, but does it not also indicate someone is spending money unnecessarily?

In case you were curious, yes, I am still toying with the idea of buying an iPhone 5 for my wife and I because we do use our phones a lot and they give us a good deal of enjoyment. They are a lot more expensive than the iPhone 3Gs we currently have by a long way. I’m talking over twice as much per month than what we have at the moment. I made the point that we couldn’t really afford the 3G when we bought them but we never looked back so this will be no different. I dunno… Maybe I’ll sleep on it for a week. This is another form of attachment and as we know; attachment is dukkha. That being said, I can write about attachment and non-self a lot easier with a modern iPhone.

Phalaenopsis orchids and re-blooming.

I have noticed, like many of you, that the evenings and nights are considerably chillier than we have been accustomed to.  I decided now would be a good time to position the phalaenopsis orchids under a cool window to hopefully trigger some flower spikes.  The harlequin has been dormant for most of the year and I have a strong suspicion it is on the verge of a massive re-bloom.  When I acquire it the leaves were scorched and scuffed and they looked like someone had dropped the damn thing on the floor.  The bloom, however, was one of the nicest I've ever seen and I had to have it.

The plant was dug up for investigation and diagnosis and I found the root system to be very poor.  What there was was half rotted out and the rest had hardly any pot space left to work with.  I repotted it in fresh bark and now the roots are spilling over the sides!  It's grown two new leaves (one of which I scorched slightly in the window) and it looks to be in the best shape of its life so far.

This is a photo on the day I bought it:

I'll keep you posted as to its progress and hopefully a photo of an extravagant bloom will be forthcoming.

 

The roots are going crazy since I have been looking after the plant my way.

Tattoos

It occurred to me recently and not for the first time. I was out and about and became surprised at how many people have tattoos. I must be a minority; a dying breed. I have never felt the desire to have a tattoo. My initial exposure to them was my grandfather who was a sailor originally and therefore it was accepted. If I wasn’t so terrified of needles in my younger years would I feel different? I doubt it.

I see tattoos not as body art but as defacing one’s body. That’s my personal opinion. The western woman has became drawn towards this in approximately the last thirty years I’m would say. How did it come about? I think if you were to go back to the 1970s or before, the majority of ladies would be horrified at the very idea. How very un-feminine!

My own feeling about them has always conjured up visions of rock music, long hair and stinking leather clothing. I’ve always been into hip hop and house music which is a different scene altogether and I guess tattoos were never part of it. Certainly not part of the stereotype anyhow.  I have enjoyed and do enjoy a lot of rock music and its off-shoots but this business with leather jackets, skulls and fireballs I don’t get. Take Goths for example. What is that all about? And emos.

Back to tattoos. A lot of tattoo artists actually wish they could go back to an unblemished skin and some place a higher value to that than all the best art in the world. This is how I feel about it too.

Tattoos and clothing are a representation of ego. They make a statement about that person and display an outward appearance of what they want the other people to see. Clothing and tattoos is vanity. Vanity is a form of attachment. Attachment to anything will bring dukkha (dis-satisfaction) ultimately as it is something that will inevitably fade and decay away.

iPhone 5

Currently toying with the idea of upgrading from the old tired iPhone 3G to the brand new iPhone 5.  Now I'm doing a lot more with my phone these days it could be a real bonus.  

Certainly deserve a change.  But is it too extravagant? I would be shelling out for two units at £530 a pop.

Oh I dunno!!!

Anyone out there can help me?

Many Thanks

Thank you so much for reading my blog!  I am so pleased that there are people who genuinely take time to read my musings.

I am humbled by your presence.

I will continue to put my thoughts into words and present them for your digestion.

Cheeerrrss!!!!!!!!

Enlightenment

I was wondering what the term "enlightenment" means to me. The Buddha reached it and it is the aim for all Buddhists to reach it. But what is it?

They say it cannot be put into words but I am going to try. At least, I will present my take on it.

The Internet says that enlightenment is the escape from the karmic cycle of multiple births and deaths. Now what is meant by "multiple births and deaths?" Surely they don't mean reincarnation! The concept of people coming back as snails, frogs and cats etc. Maybe they mean people living as humans again as some point in the future. What good will this do to anyone's wisdom if you are unaware what you learned in the lives prior to this? I think that people who believe in reincarnation or people who apply reincarnation to Buddhism are misguided and delusional. They are straying away from reality and entering into the dangerous territory of belief and faith. I have a book called "Buddhism for Beginners." This book teaches the reader about karma and rebirths. It teaches that reincarnation is real. Their best evidence was the old, "do you remember the story about the little girl from England that was able to accurately describe a place she'd never been to?" Apparently this girl remembered a past life and gave all these details she couldn't possibly have known and when they went there it was all true. What a load of cobblers. After all the effort that went into publishing the book in the real world they go and spoil it by putting forward that nonsense. If that's supposed to prove to me that reincarnation is scientific fact then they are stupid-er than I thought!

I read elsewhere that the Buddha did not care to indulge in discussion of what happens after you die. It was an un-answerable question and therefore an utterly pointless discussion. A waste of time and energy. I tend to agree with this. I don't mind touching on the subject but to attempt to offer an explanation is idiotic. I would stay on the topic long enough to bring it to an end.

To me, the karmic cycle is cause and effect. This cause and effect is understood only by people living in a universe where there is already something to cause something else. This is the limit of our understanding. The idea that nothing can come from nothing is only relative to a thinker that lives in the realm where the law of cause and effect is already in existence. If you think outside the box you will start to wonder if there is an entirely separate rule for a non existent universe. How do we know that nothing can come from nothing? If this universe and the physics and logic that it runs on is all we know, then it’s also all we can use to compose our theories and base our understanding on.

Going back to enlightenment, I would define birth and rebirth as the continuous chain of causes and effects and your own physical body being continuously replaced by new cells. The passage of yourself from one present moment to the next is the dying away of one moment and the new present moment arriving. This is what I would accept as “multiple births and re-births.” I would base my understanding of enlightenment as breaking away from the cycle of cause and effect. So how do you achieve that?

I can visualize myself as living in such a way where my interaction with the world has as near to zero effect or impact on the world around me as possible. For example if you decide to talk to someone you first acknowledge the motivation to engage that person in conversation, then you decide how you are going to word it, hopefully mindfully, so that you don’t insult them. Then, after you have said what you want to say you observe the effect your words have had and receive a response if one is offered. This is a basic example of how your desires, your actions and presence affects the rest of the world. The potential impact of a single sentence could have massive consequences and we’ve seen this happen to public figures quite often in the media.

If you were to escape from the karmic cycle you would have to live an entirely neutral life where you were at one with the universe and did not do anything that had any effect whatsoever. That would mean not forcing your presence on to anything or interacting in any way at all. You would need to break away from the idea of being a human on a planet separate and distinguishable from other things and become everything at once!

This is my interpretation of enlightenment..

The Guru

There was a man I first drank with as a teenager who we called "The Guru."  He seemed to me to have the perfect life at the time.  I was 19 at the time and I already wanted to be like him.  So mellow and calculated.  So wise and calm.  A true gentleman with all his faculties intact notwithstanding his age being 80.  Such a lucky guy.  I used to drink in our local pub every Sunday with him, my mother and often my grandad and it was a cozy sitting with beer and easy-going smalltalk.  The spirit was that of jovial triviality.  It's easy to see the appeal of this to a teenager who had so many expectations from his peers and in my mind's eye an obligation to supercede them.  Here was the oasis.  I wasn't expected to do anything crazy or new.  Just be.  Be myself.  I could and often sat in silence and just sipped the beer and listened.

When we parted at 10:30pm it was a horrible realisation that I was back to work the next day; the weekend was over.  But not for The Guru.  For him the weekend was forever.  He was free.

He got up at 6:45am and walked to the paper shop.  Then read the paper over breakfast and maybe ventured over to the city centre to drink with friends or acquaintances.  Sometimes he went to the British Legion.  There was snooker.  No expectations, no pressure to deliver results.  Just pure pleasure and relaxation.  I wanted to be just like him.

The pub visits ended when he was unable to walk home afterwards and this signalled a downward trend in his social circle.  We lost touch and soon the only time I ever saw The Guru was if I was driving past and he was walking down the street.

It wasn't long ago I found out that he was in hospital and a suicide risk patient.  I couldn't believe it!  Well, he must be 94/95 by now.  Unbelieveable!  For some a superb retirement but for him the ultimate torture.  Unable to live the way he would like and utterly without proper social opportunities.  This is a scenario I would imagine doesn't befall that many men.  So old that all his peers and old friends are dead.  Even the younger ones.  His ability to get about is hidered by age and with that a prison without walls and bars built.

I now realise the value of my own life moment by moment.  I don't waste time wishing my life away.  I no longer envy old men who have nothing to do with themselves and no pressure to achieve anything.  That is them and this is me.  Envy is just another form of dukkha.  We can all cherry-pick the best bits of other peoples' lives but I bet you wouldn't swap your problems for theirs!

I leave you with the Buddhist parable of 83 Problems.  You can think about this for yourself.

A rich farmer at his wits end seeks relief.
 
“Oh Buddha, the drought drags into a seventh year!  My beans become dust. Again. And my wife’s cooking is scarcely fit for consumption, yet she waxes horribly stout. Huge!  And my six stocky children—lazy, every one. Rats pilfer my eggs, termites chew my timbers, and thieves and mendicants swarm my town....”
 
The Buddha says, “I cannot help you.”
 
The farmer’s eyes pop—all this way he came! For nothing!
 
The Buddha says, “Everyone has 83 problems. If you work out one problem, another will surely take its place. And some problems, like death, have no solution.”

The farmer splutters. 

The Buddha says, “It may be I can assist with your 84th problem?”

“What…?”

“Your desire to have no problems.” 

The Buddhist Mentality

When I was 24 I became interested in Buddhism I began to read about it and soon realised the advice of the Buddha was the one of the best ways to understand life and death. I was, and still am, looking for increased wisdom in life.

The Buddha Dharma teaches you to live in the moment and realise that everything is in constant flux and change. Everything in the whole universe is fleeting. Nothing is permanent. When you realise this you will be able to ensure that you do not freeze reality in one state and expect it to always stay the same. Everything changes. As I sit and write this, cells in my body are being created and others are dying. My body is not the same one I had a year ago. Everything is aging and degrading. Take the Sun. The Sun has a finite amount of hydrogen to burn and will run out eventually. One day it may swell to a red giant and engulf the Earth. So, with that in mind make sure you take that with you every day of your life. Don’t freeze reality.

Another important realisation the Buddha Dharma teaches you is to see reality moment by moment, second by second. Without prejudice or allowing previous experiences or knowledge to affect the perception of your senses. Obviously, you can be aware of your experience and what your mind is telling you but do not substitute reality with your own thoughts! The foolish man discards what he sees, not what he thinks. The wise man discards what he thinks, not what he sees.

The way forward is to simply see reality in its entirety as one. See how everything is connected to everything else. See how your own actions and the way you treat people and what you say to people all have an effect on the world. Notice that you are part of the Universe. You are not separate from the World and the things around you – they ARE you and you ARE them I mean that literally. When you see reality – the whole – you will realise there is no difference at all between the trees in the park and your own body. They are all made up of cells grown from elements of the Universe and powered by solar energy making them change from one state to another. In fact your own body is completely inseparable from the Sun. You are made out of the Sun. If I died and was buried in the ground, my body would decompose into the soil and from there the energy and elements of my body would power other new lives such as plants and animals. From these plants and animals or animals eating the plants grown on my grave, they will gain energy and strength and then maybe a passing eagle would then eat these animals. The eagle would then be partly made up of the energy of my decomposed body. This is how everything works in the Universe. There is no beginning or end - just reality and how this moment has come to be.

When I started actively living like this it was so amazing to see what I was missing in life. Some people seem to reach the end of their lives not even realising they missed anything.

The best thing ever

This is the best thing ever:

 

Gardening on Monday

Today it's time to do a big clearout from the summer growing season  we have potato bags to turn out, tomato plants to tidy up and eggplants.  

Started out with the potato bags:

We turned out the bags and were rewarded with a nice little crop:

  

I decided the lemongrass was a little too big for the bedroom window and from 4 sticks we got all this fresh lemongrass:

Very nice!  The greenhouse was in a bad state with a tomato plant out of control and 3 Thai eggplants that had not performed at all well this season.  I decided to take them out early and open up the space for the plants that are growing well.  This is the before picture:

With all that work complete we called it a day and went to sit in the pub garden.  Lovely mon!