Enjoy.
What is Attachment?
To discuss attachment, one has to define it first. Attachment can be seen as an exaggerated seeking and clinging. We devote large amounts of mental and physical energy to the object of our desires. If we don’t have it, we obsess about it, try to get it, or constantly mourn its absence. And if we have it, we fear we will lose it and desperately try to hold on to it. Our minds will never find rest, as long as this grasping exists.At the root of attachment is wrong perception. Whether it is an object or a person, we give it meanings and values that do not exist. Let’s discuss romance as an example – it is one of the most common in our society.
Imagine a man who has spent his entire life without a lover. The world will tell him it is not right, that there must be something wrong with him. Maybe he is too ugly, maybe he is too shy. Doesn’t he get lonely? Isn’t life too painful to travel alone? Doesn’t he need a shoulder to cry on?
If he agrees with them, he begins to feel lonely and sad, and his efforts are directed towards trying to find a wife. And what if he finds one? The poor woman – he begins to burden her with all his years of unfulfilled needs and desires. No longer can she simply be who she is; her humanity has been denied. If she fulfils his needs, he might try to control her or hold on to her for fear of losing her. If she doesn’t, his unhappiness returns – but this time she is blamed for it. If she leaves, he plunges back into his despair, and again she will be blamed for it.
But she is not at fault – the despair and insecurities have always been there. His pain comes from his internal attachments, not her.
Take a look at the site I discovered the article here:
http://www.urbanmonk.net/783/non-attachment-detachment-aversion/
I hope you gained some real life wisdom from this. Something that is genuine, useful and proven to be 100% fact. That is the truth of Buddhism.
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